F.L.Y. - First Love Yourself

The most damaging lie is that we‘re not worthy of love or respect by just being who we are. We need to understand, there is one important lesson to learn in life: "First love Yourself."

“If I love myself I love you. If I love you I love myself.”

- Rumi -

We need to understand, everybody lives his life through his own eyes, heart and soul. Our interactions with the universe and everything around us, our thoughts, believes, feelings, how we interpret events, relationships, actions and words. We need to understand, the reason when it comes to understanding of reality, that is how we’ve our problems, because our reality depends on how much our love and take care of ourselves.

The relationship with ourselves is the most defining factor in shaping the kind of life we live, how we maybe want to live. The less we love, listen and understand ourselves, the more confused, angry, scary and frustrating our reality will be. But when we start to “First Love Yourself”, the more everything we see, do and everyone we interact with, starts to become beautiful.

The truth is “First Love Yourself” isn't easy. We're our own toughest critic. It’s when we spend more time hating and questioning ourselves than we do loving and understand ourselves. So begin to “First Love Yourself”. It might not be the easiest thing in the world to do, but it’s definitely one of the most important things in your life.

Think of the people we love and respect. How do we treat them? Are we kind to them and patient with their thoughts, ideas and forgive when they make a mistake or don't understand. Do we give them space, time and opportunity; make sure they have the room to grow, because you love them enough to believe in the potential of their growth.


Now think of how you treat ourselves. Do we give ourselves the love, respect and understanding that we give to our closest friends, family or partner? Do we take good care of our body, mind, soul and all our needs? “First Love Yourself “is more than just a state of mind - it is also actions and habits that we embed into our daily life:

  • Proper sleep

  • Healthy food

  • Giving yourself time and space to understand your spirituality

  • Regular Sport and Activities for your body and soul

  • Be thankful and grateful

  • Me time if needed

  • Fun time (alone or with friends) if needed

  • Get rid of vices and toxic influences

  • Reflecting and meditating

Nobody is perfect, because we all have a dark side; we hold anguish, losses, hatred disappointments and pain.

Ignoring the dark side, our inner pain will eats us up and forces us to cave-in spiritually and mentally. Be honest with you, forgive yourself for your past deeds, those things you’re ashamed of. Accept that we’re sometimes a carrier of negative emotions, like disgust, rage, and jealousy. We’ve to learn to embrace the silence if we need it. Accepting our flaws and faults is one thing, but loving all our own kind of thoughts, emotions, vices and mistakes? That’s a completely higher level of “First Love Yourself. We need to understand ourselves in the most intimate way possible and find the reason for every negative emotion, shameful act, words and deed that we regret. We need to find the causes and trace our past. We need to learn to “First Love Yourself” in a way that only we can. We need to stop being ashamed of our past and start understanding it and us.

Fears and worries are necessary for us to protect ourselves, but this survival mechanism can also work against us too. Which is why we’re experiencing self-doubt and self-criticism. Understanding what we want and where we want to go is crucial to being happy and finding meaning in life.

Therefore ask yourself following questions:

  • What were you passionate about as a child?

  • What are you doing in your spare time that really makes you happy?

  • What makes you forget the world around you?

  • With who do you love to spend time with and what do you talk about?

  • What should you really let go so that you feel better?

  • Do you have a bucket list?

  • Do you have a dream that you can easily fulfill?

  • Have you found a reason to love and especially to forgive yourself and others?


Being grateful is a powerful attitude that can shape our mindset for the better, so exchange self-pity for gratitude. It’s time to get out of our comfort zone, because if we’re struggling to love ourselves, then we’re staying in our comfort zone.

“We’re all influenced by who we spend most of our time with.

We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.”

- Tim Ferriss -

What happens when we start to improve, to “First Love Yourself“? Maybe friends, colleagues and loved once start to put us down. But why? Because they’ve put us in a box and it messes with their mind when we start to change. Have courage and answer criticism with love, if we’re becoming more confident and happy, that’s all that should really matter.

We've to accept our emotions without judging them. Whenever we experience an uncomfortable feeling, such as sadness, pain, fear or anger, our first instinct is to ignore it, reject it or push it away. But emotions give us useful information about our lives. Emotional health is to practice acceptance. This means allowing our emotions to just be without negatively judging them or trying to change them. We need to learn to accept our emotions, it will lead to stable emotional resilience. We must live our lives with both the negative and the positive, which helps us live a life of contentment. If we’re able to accept ourselves and all of our emotions, we’ll be more easily able to “First Love Yourself”. The truth is, change is the only constant in the universe. Nothing remains fixed.

We need to understand, acceptance is about balance. First Love Yourself, so you know what you deserve and what are you worth. As we tended to our emotions and feelings we will realize that we could love ourselves and another simultaneously as long as there was a balance. The key to an amazing relationship is balance. Balance within and with another person. Do your soul a favor and start “First Love Yourself“.

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

- Brené Brown -

Uncover your authentic self, which at its essence is pure love. Make it a practice to meet with yourself, so you can love and accept the person reflected back to you. After all, when you “First Love Yourself“, life will undoubtedly take care of the rest.

F.L.Y. Coaching:

  • Honor and love who you are.

  • Love Life. 

  • Exposing your truth.

  • You are powerful.

  • You are creating your own life.

  • You are the decision-maker.

  • You are constantly moving and changing.

  • Feelings: anger, fear and sadness serve an important purpose, use it.

  • Self Forgiveness and forgive others.

Are you ready to Love Yourself again? If so, it is time to F.L.Y.!

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself.

How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.”

- Steve Maraboli -